Faith

Questions always,
answers not met -
the search within
digs deeper yet.

I look above.
For my faith, please press,
which comes and goes
with sins I confess.

The only love
I'll ever know
exists not in me,
but will still grow

with every fall
down to my knees.
You force me down
to humble me.

But about me,
my life is not.
How to love others
is what I'm taught

by your example
your death for sin.
He died for me.
I'll live for him.

What I want
is not what I get.
The more I plan,
the more it's upset.

I see I don't
control my life -
planned by another,
guided by his light.

My life, my will
is not mine. It's yours.
Please take it back
and mold it more.

Put me in
the place in which you want
me to live
so I can stop the hunt.

For my own
selfish wants, I tend,
which will matter not
at the great The End.

So I surrender
and yet I win.
For in willingness,
you took my sins.

Take up my cross,
I will for you.
Lead me and show
what I'm to do.

Suffer I may,
lowered I might be,
but will rejoice and serve
as did He.

My Battle

The sun sinks down and ends the day
and yet begins my own.
For when the world lays down its head,
I can see what I have sown.

Growing wild are the weeds
nourished by my fear
to forevermore do the same
yet nothing year by year.

All that I love, I push and lose
to pull nearer what I hate.
I breathe it in and cry out
for control over my fate.

Hindered by my own two hands,
I long for my own heart
chained up in the bonds of time
takes also time to part.

And so I want and so I fade
into the fog of night.
Waiting, searching once again
for my sun to rise in sight.