my face in thine eye...

How Much I Love You

2008-10-18T11:13:00.000-07:00

You may not know how much I love you.
Everything you do
is like a voice whispering in the still of night
that sustains me through.

Yet when the sun does rise,
it’s as if it never set,
for my sky’s sunrise was colorless
until the day we met.

Mercy and forgiveness
you’ve showed once and again.
My gratefulness I cannot show
truly with paper and pen.

I can cry and yet still smile
when for my hand you reach.
You wipe away my fearful tears,
and just how to love, you teach.

Doubt and unbelief
in the possibility of love
was wiped away by you, my sweet,
like an angel sent from above.

You and I stand still
though the world around spins more.
Reflected in your eyes are mine,
and in mine are yours.

We’ve somehow survived our own trials.
Through tragedies we sometimes sit.
Two people are somehow broken,
yet our broken pieces somehow fit.

In your arms you hold me,
but I hold you in my heart.
So no matter where I go,
we will not truly part.

Down our two paths we continue,
and we know not what lies ahead;
but if our paths can intertwine,
I’ll keep faith in you instead.

Have faith in me like mine in yours.
What I tell you is pure and true.
You may not know how much I love you.
Just please know I do.

Faith

2008-07-20T14:42:00.000-07:00

Questions always,
answers not met -
the search within
digs deeper yet.

I look above.
For my faith, please press,
which comes and goes
with sins I confess.

The only love
I'll ever know
exists not in me,
but will still grow

with every fall
down to my knees.
You force me down
to humble me.

But about me,
my life is not.
How to love others
is what I'm taught

by your example
your death for sin.
He died for me.
I'll live for him.

What I want
is not what I get.
The more I plan,
the more it's upset.

I see I don't
control my life -
planned by another,
guided by his light.

My life, my will
is not mine. It's yours.
Please take it back
and mold it more.

Put me in
the place in which you want
me to live
so I can stop the hunt.

For my own
selfish wants, I tend,
which will matter not
at the great The End.

So I surrender
and yet I win.
For in willingness,
you took my sins.

Take up my cross,
I will for you.
Lead me and show
what I'm to do.

Suffer I may,
lowered I might be,
but will rejoice and serve
as did He.

My Battle

2008-07-20T14:39:00.000-07:00

The sun sinks down and ends the day
and yet begins my own.
For when the world lays down its head,
I can see what I have sown.

Growing wild are the weeds
nourished by my fear
to forevermore do the same
yet nothing year by year.

All that I love, I push and lose
to pull nearer what I hate.
I breathe it in and cry out
for control over my fate.

Hindered by my own two hands,
I long for my own heart
chained up in the bonds of time
takes also time to part.

And so I want and so I fade
into the fog of night.
Waiting, searching once again
for my sun to rise in sight.

Discrimination Lives

2008-06-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

“This is our hope…with this faith…we will be able to transform…our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day…when we let freedom ring…we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

These are the words of Martin Luther King, delivered to the American people forty five years ago. Despite King’s and other civil rights activists’ efforts to end racial discrimination, this spoken-of freedom has yet to be entirely obtained. While various races may legally coexist in all aspects of our society, we as so-called “non-racists” continue to discriminate on a daily basis. Discrimination is defined as the “treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual merit.” In other words, to discriminate (racially) is to deem one’s race as causal of his or her behavior and vice versa.

In today’s American society, discrimination occurs frequently, and disturbingly, it is rarely given a second thought. In the workplace, many Americans associate different races with different education levels. When employers hold interviews for a job position, they may quickly mistake minorities for less educated candidates than non-minorities with the first glance at the color of their skin. In schools, my personal experiences have brought to my attention the grouping of races. Asian students tend to befriend other Asian students, as African-Americans do African-Americans, and as Caucasians do Caucasians. While some argue that students may due so out of comfort with their own race, I believe discrimination is the main culprit. As children, most minorities have been picked on at least one time because of their race. Entering adolescence and adulthood, the same minorities feel unaccepted by those who discriminate. Who other than their own race would they feel comfortable befriending? Furthermore, racial stereotypes have become so common that mostly everyone would be able to immediately associate at least a few adjectives with different races if asked to do so. According to the definition, this is discrimination, and it is wrong.

If discrimination has been an issue since our society was born, and still remains an issue, what can anyone do to put it to an end? The first step is awareness. Not only should children be simply taught that “all men are created equal,” but they should more importantly be taught to treat their fellow man as such. As informed adults, we must learn to turn a blind eye to false opinions of and presumptuous attitudes toward different races. Only once we truly believe others to be equal can we indeed treat them as our equals. Also, the media, perhaps being the most powerful source of Americans’ ideals and opinions, should also intervene. Being able to report on particularly chosen stories of people belonging to different races, the media holds the power to begin changing our preconceived, stereotypical notions of racial behaviors and characteristics. If the media or the government cannot or will not take action to fight discrimination, then it is truly up to the individual to make a conscious effort to think and thereby act differently. Perhaps discrimination will never completely disappear from our society; it can, however, diminish gradually with one person at a time, until all races can truly be “free at last.”

Love

2008-02-23T18:38:00.000-08:00

To know not what you thought you knew
To realize you never did
To sing the words that once had meaning
To realize they now mean nothing
Time can heal but time can’t fix
something broken to begin with
Vibrant colors danced with your heart,
but swirl and stop at black
Grey skies not quite shining like they do
when with love & ignorance

____________________________

Everything I thought I knew
It’s gone
It never was
Everything I wanted
Is no more
I search for the familiarity
I once knew
It’s disappeared
I am left
Wondering
Out of love

The Man Behind the Curtain

2007-12-08T11:56:00.000-08:00

"Verbal Abuse is insidious.
Verbal Abuse is endemic.
Verbal Abuse impacts millions of people.
Verbal Abuse and its denial are crazy-making.
Verbal Abuse usually occurs in secret."

The world of abuse is one of darkness and secret suffering--a world into which no one is eager to enter. Yet, there exists a group of young women in today's pop culture that has. Its membership is only increasing, and these young women don't even know it.

How is it possible that one can be led into doing something against one's will, yet somehow be made to believe it was done out of personal choice? Who is the man behind the curtain? The media. Who is the face of Oz? The glossy spreads of the chic Cosmo and Vogue. Young girls open these treasure boxes of beauty and glamour. Page after page, they dip their fingers into the dripping pools of materialism, fantasy, and sex appeal. At a crucial time in one's life, adolescents begin a quest of self discovery. Asking the question, "Who am I supposed to be?," they are gladly answered by headlines of "Change Your Body in 10 Days," "Make Him Crave You," and "Bedroom Moves You Must Master." If you are not model material, a sex goddess, or picture perfect, you are not good enough, and something must be done. Conveniently, advertisements for diet pills, plastic surgery, and cosmetics await your beckon call.

Despite convincing facades of integrity and virtue, it is common knowledge that the priority of all businesses, including magazines, is to maximize profits. To what extent, however, will one go? What are the costs of its victims? Do the ends truly justify the means? Temporarily violating my boycott of pop culture magazines, I recently picked up the December issue of Cosmopolitan for examination. I braced myself for anger and disgust. My low expectations were somehow too high for the racy and degrading content which I encountered. All in the same magazine, I found the following: an article on physical fitness, followed by advertisements for brownies and cookies, humorously followed by an article on why Americans can't stick to diets and fitness regimens. In addition, there were multiple advertisements for diet pills, followed by an article on the danger of such pills. Yes, furrow your brows and scratch your temples. Does the media care about its readers? I think not. If this is not proof of the media's revolting priority of profit over people, I don't know what is.

If verbal abuse is indeed insiduous, epidemic, and secretive, media's messages are nothing short of it. Young girls are increasingly turning to magazines and television, which is on for an average of seven hours in the American household. It is of no surprise that more than eight million Americans suffer from eating disorders, whose ages begin from as early as seven years old. Over 11.5 million cosmetic procedures were performed during 2006, an alarming 446 percent increase since 1997. Starvation and going under the knife are hardly pleasant thoughts; but participation is increasing. Verbally abused by the media, women resort to abusing themselves. This hardly makes sense, and one may wonder why women insist on buying into the constant pressure of the media's magazines. The answer is simple. They are seemingly harmless--a mere source of leisure and entertainment. The reality? They are quite the opposite. This cycle of abuse is going to continue to gain momentum at the powerful hand of the media. Unless we enjoy such a lifestyle, we must bring this cycle to a crashing halt.

Savage Inequalities

2007-11-16T22:55:00.000-08:00

As an American, it is all too easy to nostalgically reminisce in the carefree essence of your childhood-days filled with schooling, endured with the promising sunshine and laughter that would fill your free time that afternoon spent with cherished friends in your neighborhood.

Now, imagine living in a country where these memories were replaced with days of murder, rape, pollution, hunger, and sickness, endured only with the bleak knowledge that even worse circumstances would otherwise fill your time. Which country to I speak of? The exact one in which we live.

"A man who hasn't discovered something to die for is not fit to live." In the midst of the battle for civil rights, Martin Luther King Jr. died with the dream it would some day end. Turning its cheek, our own government heavily curtains today's reality of which few are aware--the battle remains.

Jonathan Kozol's Savage Inequalities exposes the harsh reality of the vast rift among America's education system. Traveling from the suburbs to inner cities, spacious classrooms are replaced with run-down closets and urinals. Cafeteria menus are replaced with a $2.40 daily food expenditure. Playgrounds are replaced with raw sewage and pornography theaters. Diplomas are replaced with empty certificates, given out to children who have yet to be taught how to even read. As middle class America knows it, education has increasingly become the passport to one's future. For America's inner cities, this is not so; education is simply a shelter from the streets, where crime and pregnancy are increasing at an alarming rate. Some have recognized their education's pretense of legitimacy. Among inner cities, only 10-15% of the students are in truly academic programs, and only 20% of the 55% that may graduate may go to college. Furthermore, 90% of these cities' prisoners are those who have dropped out of school. Those who cling on to the hope racial integration continue to look to our country's flag with hands on their hearts, awaiting the fulfimment of the promise, "one nation...with liberty and justice for all."

“Children get used to feeling constant pain. They go to sleep with it.” Pain has become the norm for the children of East St. Louis, Chicago, Camden, and our nation's capital. What in the past has caused the qualitative rift among America's education system to become so vast, and what, if anything, will be done about it in the future? What has emerged is a pattern of poor education followed by an equally impoverished lifestyle. Children are caught in this vicious cycle with no way out. How has our government refuse to offer one? Quite easily. It is up to the privileged American people to battle these savage inequalities and make our country one in which all can be proud to live.